Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
- Downloads：9307
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-01-30 04:16:20
- Update Date：2025-09-08
- Status：finish
- Author：Ethan Kross
- ISBN：9780525575238
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Editor Reviews
★ 11/02/2020
Kross， the director of the University of Michigan’s Emotion & Self Control Laboratory， debuts with an eye-opening look at managing “the silent conversations people have with themselves。” He begins with an anecdote from 2011: after Kross received a threatening letter， he spent sleepless nights armed with a baseball bat to protect his family and irrationally blamed himself for causing the situation。 Kross eventually calmed down， but his experience inspired the writing of this book in order to share his findings on how to “keep silent， internal conversations from harming mental health。” Using other anecdotes， such as that of Rick Ankiel， whose pitching career with the St。 Louis Cardinals was derailed by overwhelming anxiety， Kross walks readers through a wide variety of internal conversations， such as helpful “linked” thought patterns that focus on a goal versus “unlinked” negative thought spirals。 Kross profiles LeBron James， Fred Rogers， and Malala Yousafzai， among others， and articulates their strategies for dealing with negative self-talk， such as using rituals （like mantras or daily moments of reflection） to reduce harmful mental chatter。 Kross also provides mind-calming tips， such as imagining one’s self-talk as advising a friend and reframing one’s experience as a challenge。 Readers dealing with issues of self-talk would do well to pick up Kross’s stimulating foray into popular psychology。 （Jan。）
Reviews
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Anna Griffiths
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Really interesting book about how we can help keep the negative voice in our head under control。 Good practical suggestions too。 Useful during COVID for those finding it hard。
Anna Sonju
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Very solid read。 Kross uses tons of studies to explain the concept of chatter–that voice in our head that often heightens our anxieties when things are bad， makes us replay conversations and imagine scenarios。。。 basically makes us live in the past and future rather than the present。 As the queen of overthinking myself， I found this to be a very valuable read with lots of tools that I will be employing to help calm my anxieties when something bad happens and I begin jumping to conclusions。Kross o Very solid read。 Kross uses tons of studies to explain the concept of chatter–that voice in our head that often heightens our anxieties when things are bad， makes us replay conversations and imagine scenarios。。。 basically makes us live in the past and future rather than the present。 As the queen of overthinking myself， I found this to be a very valuable read with lots of tools that I will be employing to help calm my anxieties when something bad happens and I begin jumping to conclusions。Kross outlines ways to manage chatter with the intent of not getting rid of those voices （they evolved for a reason）， but to reframe those voices to start looking at your problems from a more objective perspective。 A few of his big points to help quiet the chatter include distancing yourself from the situation （for which he gives many ways to do this）， creating order in your life， and incorporating more green spaces in your life。 Loved the green spaces section because it provided me with a concrete analysis of one of the reasons I love being in the outdoors so much but couldn’t verbalize that well: it helps me think logically and calmly about things and quiets that chatter！ Also loved the section about distancing yourself。 I find that it’s easy for me to analyze other people’s problems and think of what I would do， but not myself because I’m too close to the issue and the consequences。 By trying to be like a fly on the wall in my own problems， or referring to myself in second/third person when talking to myself but not out loud because I’m not tryna look crazy to others， I’m definitely going to try to use distance from the issue to help solve my problems。 The book gave me a psychological understanding of why I do certain things that quiet my chatter subconsciously， like stress-bake， as well as gave me new ways to handle the chatter。 Kross also gives a lot of solid ways to assist others who are experiencing chatter/challenges in their lives and come to you for support。 He outlines what is effective and necessary in these situations， emphasizing for example “invisible support”。 Many people go to others for help but don’t want their problems necessarily solved， they just want support。 Kross suggests invisibly helping them by trying to make their life a little easier without making it obvious that they’re offering help， because being too obvious can make it seem like you think they’re helpless rather than just wanting support。 Now I know why I don’t like when people offer me unsolicited advice or solutions to my problems！Overall I think there are a lot of good takeaways， and there’s a lot more in the book than I could even cover here。 It’s well-researched and well-written， and I’m excited to use his tools and techniques to help myself and my loved ones quiet the chatter。 。。。more
Ferris Frick
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It was ok， decent advice。 The author seems like a nebbish。
Adam Harris
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I loved this book！ Could not put it down！！ The author tells fantastic stories while weaving in profound science and does it with such easy to understand language。 I found it extremely helpful。 I cannot wait to read it again！
Abby
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If you’ve ever had back and forth conversations with that inner voice， this book is for you。 （So…everyone。） Written by an award-winning psychologist， this book helps harness our worst critic and loudest， most opinionated voice， by using tools we already have – our words and our relationships。 Obviously， this is a nonfiction book so if that’s not your thing， be warned - this definitely leans on the academic side of books。 But， if you’re up for hearing about some unique， honest stories of how our If you’ve ever had back and forth conversations with that inner voice， this book is for you。 （So…everyone。） Written by an award-winning psychologist， this book helps harness our worst critic and loudest， most opinionated voice， by using tools we already have – our words and our relationships。 Obviously， this is a nonfiction book so if that’s not your thing， be warned - this definitely leans on the academic side of books。 But， if you’re up for hearing about some unique， honest stories of how our inner voice can make or break us， and how to best rope it in to help instead of hurt， give it a read。 As a performer， my headspace can be my biggest fan or worst enemy。 There are times onstage where I am so in my head about if I’m doing well， psyching myself out and totally convinced I’ve forgotten all my lines， or that I’m not good enough。 These things can completely wreck a performance and a performer， so I am very thankful this book exists with some helpful tools to stop my brain from being a jerk and re-route it to more positive and constructive thinking。Some may loop this into the self-help category， but I think there are some really good explanations in here about the “WHY” of human behavior in general and can be a fun read for anyone interested in sociology and the connection between humans and their beliefs/habits。Special thanks to Random House via Goodreads Giveaways for this advance copy！ 。。。more
John
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For anyone who struggles with how to change and harness the power of the voice in your head， this is a great book。 It's also great for anyone who wants to improve their communication/support skills to help others too。 For anyone who struggles with how to change and harness the power of the voice in your head， this is a great book。 It's also great for anyone who wants to improve their communication/support skills to help others too。 。。。more
Theodene
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Years ago， heck it’s been decades really， I used to say that if people knew what was happening in my head， it would be a hit television series！ We all have those thoughts in our heads。 The chatter in our heads can be calmed！Chatter by Ethan Kross is an excellent summary of real life experiences and studies about the chatter in our heads as we go through different situations。 It’s out together rather well and includes a shortened version at the back of the book for quick referencing。In my years o Years ago， heck it’s been decades really， I used to say that if people knew what was happening in my head， it would be a hit television series！ We all have those thoughts in our heads。 The chatter in our heads can be calmed！Chatter by Ethan Kross is an excellent summary of real life experiences and studies about the chatter in our heads as we go through different situations。 It’s out together rather well and includes a shortened version at the back of the book for quick referencing。In my years of experience working with Army soldiers as they transition out of the military and as they go through medical retirement boards， I have met many soldiers who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and other behavior health diagnoses。 They often have this chatter in their heads。 I recommend this book for all of them and for their therapists， social workers， and psychologists。A digital ARC of Chatter by Ethan Kross was provided complimentary by Crown Publishing via NetGalley。 A review is not required， but I know it can help authors and readers alike。 I give this book 4 out of 5 tiaras。 It has great information and useful tools to calm the chatter in my head。 Now to put it all into practice！ 。。。more
Dawn
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There is still so much to learn about the human mind。 It's capable of so much， some good and some bad。 So what about when things go a bit wrong？ "Chatter" is a light glance at what happens when our inner voice sets out to （it feels like） destroy us， and delivers some simple tools to get that voice back under control。 Amazingly， these "tools" can be used immediately - and with immediate results。 I really would like a more in-depth exploration of this subject。My thanks to the author， publisher， an There is still so much to learn about the human mind。 It's capable of so much， some good and some bad。 So what about when things go a bit wrong？ "Chatter" is a light glance at what happens when our inner voice sets out to （it feels like） destroy us， and delivers some simple tools to get that voice back under control。 Amazingly， these "tools" can be used immediately - and with immediate results。 I really would like a more in-depth exploration of this subject。My thanks to the author， publisher， and NetGalley。 This review was written voluntarily and is entirely my own， unbiased， opinion。 。。。more
Kate Henderson
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**listened to audio book**I was really excited to listen to/read this book， as it's a topic I find fascinating！ However I was left really disappointed。Firstly the structure of the book was all overly the place。 the author talks about his experiences， and also uses case studies - flipping back and forth between the two。 I found it very confusing， and didn't always know the point of some of the anecdotes。 They didn't always seem relevant。 I also found the narrators voice very monotone， and it got **listened to audio book**I was really excited to listen to/read this book， as it's a topic I find fascinating！ However I was left really disappointed。Firstly the structure of the book was all overly the place。 the author talks about his experiences， and also uses case studies - flipping back and forth between the two。 I found it very confusing， and didn't always know the point of some of the anecdotes。 They didn't always seem relevant。 I also found the narrators voice very monotone， and it got very dull very quickly。 This wasn't the book I was hoping for。 。。。more
Laura
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Thanks to Random House UK， Ebury Publishing and Netgalley for an advance copy of this book。Chatter: The Voice In Our Head， Why It Matters – and How to Harness It， is a fascinating exploration of the voice in our heads。 The book explores the significance of chatter in our lives and how we can use tools in the book to transform it from critic to coach。 I absolutely demolished the book， getting through it in just a few days。 It flowed well， contained interesting scientific studies， and laid out the Thanks to Random House UK， Ebury Publishing and Netgalley for an advance copy of this book。Chatter: The Voice In Our Head， Why It Matters – and How to Harness It， is a fascinating exploration of the voice in our heads。 The book explores the significance of chatter in our lives and how we can use tools in the book to transform it from critic to coach。 I absolutely demolished the book， getting through it in just a few days。 It flowed well， contained interesting scientific studies， and laid out the tools for you to follow。 I found the information about the tools within the chapter sometimes hard to apply to my own life。 However， the author has also talked about them in detail at the end of the book which makes things much clearer。My only gripe about this book is that just as I felt like I was getting to the real bones of the book， I was confronted with a chapter titled ‘Conclusion’。 I honestly checked back to the front to make sure I wasn’t missing half the book， but sure enough it was correct。 I felt like I had walked off a cliff with this book。 On my Kindle I was just over half way through and yet here was the conclusion？ I really felt like this book could have continued on further， with more examples and explorations of the themes。 While this was a real let down for me， perhaps part of the reason for this is there just isn’t much more to write about now， considering the early research into this subject。Overall， I would 100% recommend this book as a short， but fantastically powerful way of learning more about the chatter inside your head。 It explains things clearly and in an easy to understand way， while also providing the evidence to back the tools up。 Finally， the tools are wonderfully simple， and I think with a bit of practice could become a staple for me in my day to day life。 I will certainly be recommending this book to others。 。。。more
Emma
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A fascinating， if academic， book about why our inner voice behaves the way it does and how to work on managing it and/or help others management。 I honestly liked the academic bits because I like knowing where the research comes from about each of these， but I also find this a subject that fascinates me to begin with since I want to become a peer support worker。 （I received this book from a GoodReads Giveaway）。
Tracy Miller
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Fine， but no big insights。 Reinforcement of what I already knew。 Too surface level。 My worrying is too strong for the basic tricks this book provides。 And I’m more interested right now in learning to be motivated by my discomfort to make life changes， not to just relieve the bad feelings。 Still， there were some good strategies and some genuinely helpful information about nature and green spaces。
Meilech
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I received a copy of this through the Goodreads giveaway。A easy to read look at what's behind our inner voice and a lot of helpful tips on what we can do about it when it gets out of control。 I received a copy of this through the Goodreads giveaway。A easy to read look at what's behind our inner voice and a lot of helpful tips on what we can do about it when it gets out of control。 。。。more
RS Rook
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***Special thanks to Random House （via Goodreads Giveaway） for this advanced proof copy。 Please keep in mind that my review is based on an advanced proof and there may be differences between the edition I read for this review and the final proof at release。***When it comes to managing anxiety and catastrophizing this may be the self-help book to end all self-help books。 And I'm not even sure it can be classified as a self-help book。 What is fascinating is that so much of the information presente ***Special thanks to Random House （via Goodreads Giveaway） for this advanced proof copy。 Please keep in mind that my review is based on an advanced proof and there may be differences between the edition I read for this review and the final proof at release。***When it comes to managing anxiety and catastrophizing this may be the self-help book to end all self-help books。 And I'm not even sure it can be classified as a self-help book。 What is fascinating is that so much of the information presented in this book is deeply intuitive--if you have read any self-help books before you've seen what Dr。 Kross is describing， and just as likely， you may have even engaged in the same emotional-regulation techniques without really thinking about it。 But this book clearly explains what those behaviors do， how they can be helpful， and just as importantly how they can hurt。 For those of you not so much interested in the self-help aspect， this book also explains a lot about why humans have a fairly consistent set of religious， or religious-like behaviors across cultures and belief systems， although Kross doesn't get explicit about these connections until the final chapter。 It's fascinating， and reaffirms the importance of culturally-responsive education and therapy。 I would have given this book 5-stars but for two relatively minor factors: 1。 The way this book is structured， especially at the beginning， is a bit reminiscent of a 10th grader doing a Power Point presentation。 All of the information is there， but the hook and conclusion （in the form of an anecdote about a specific person meant to act as a case study of the concept being described in the chapter） don't quite flow with the meat of the chapter。 （Chapters 2 and 3 had this problem the most。 Chapter 1 felt a bit sloppy but it was trying to set up a lot--but Chapter 4 kinda blew my mind and everything after is also brilliant）。 3。 I don't know whose idea it was to format the end notes like that， but I hate it。 I really hope it's some kind of fluke of the advanced copy that will be corrected in the final proof。 If I were in a bookstore flipping through a copy and saw the end notes were formatted like that （with no references in the text！！！！） I would probably not purchase the book。 Really hope that gets fixed。 。。。more
Ron Frampton
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listening to that voice in your head
Elizabeth Efstathakis
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Does it explain psychological tendencies from biological disorders？
Paula Cappa
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Is there a right and wrong way to talk to yourself？ This book answers this question about communicating with yourself and the path is to look inside and listen for the answer。 Kross defines “chatter” as cyclical negative thoughts and emotions。 Steering these negative thoughts back to positive thoughts is quite a process but a good one！ If you’ve struggled with this kind of chatter， negative verbal streaming （who hasn’t right？） then this read will bring you to a new place of understanding and awa Is there a right and wrong way to talk to yourself？ This book answers this question about communicating with yourself and the path is to look inside and listen for the answer。 Kross defines “chatter” as cyclical negative thoughts and emotions。 Steering these negative thoughts back to positive thoughts is quite a process but a good one！ If you’ve struggled with this kind of chatter， negative verbal streaming （who hasn’t right？） then this read will bring you to a new place of understanding and awareness。 An important book， Kross’ exploration here reminds us that negative chatter feeds stress。 One suggestion is to add distance to this chatter。 Stepping back for a wider perspective can be helpful but there are more worthy tools in this toolbox that Kross has created。 There is also the force of Nature that can calm and reset the mind。 Mind magic and rituals can bring deeper meaning to the self to a positive thinking state。 I found this book to open a lot of windows and tactics on this kind of negative self-talk。 One thing I was curious about is anger and how that plays into the chatter voice going on。 Kross hit on the emotion of anger rather lightly; I would have like to have more about anger but maybe that’s another book。 This book has practical strategies， fascinating case histories， and impressive research。 The best thing I liked was the fact that Kross has struggled with his own chatter and that personal experience established solid credibility。 Recommended。 Paula Cappa is an avid book reviewer and an award-winning supernatural mystery author of novels and short stories。 。。。more
Savannah
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A Fantastic， collection of practical tips for handling our own inner voice， support others coping with 'chatter' and how to leave behind a negative-spiral lifestyle。 Chatter offers practical insights into relationship building through compelling and highly accessible story telling。 While it reads very academic it still maintains an approachable and accessible style。 For anyone whose curious about the mind。 Will join some of my favorites！ A Fantastic， collection of practical tips for handling our own inner voice， support others coping with 'chatter' and how to leave behind a negative-spiral lifestyle。 Chatter offers practical insights into relationship building through compelling and highly accessible story telling。 While it reads very academic it still maintains an approachable and accessible style。 For anyone whose curious about the mind。 Will join some of my favorites！ 。。。more
Jamie
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As someone with a voice in her head that pretty much NEVER SHUTS UP I was drawn to this book。 And hurrah！A combination of research in psychology， told in laymans terms， and real， honest， helpful advice to quiet the chatter， while acknowledging its importance。 Also includes things that I do， like go to concerts and go hiking， that help my voice quiet down， and explains why。 I love when that happens！I'm ready to get started！ As someone with a voice in her head that pretty much NEVER SHUTS UP I was drawn to this book。 And hurrah！A combination of research in psychology， told in laymans terms， and real， honest， helpful advice to quiet the chatter， while acknowledging its importance。 Also includes things that I do， like go to concerts and go hiking， that help my voice quiet down， and explains why。 I love when that happens！I'm ready to get started！ 。。。more
Laura Mitchell Hutchinson
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Really helpful info for an anxious soul like me！ Fascinating to learn of the science behind my own 'inner voice' and what I can do to stop the negative spiralling that seems to happen so often。 I have tried to use some of these techniques over the past week or so and surprised myself when they actually worked！ 4。5 stars from me， not because the content was lacking but just my own personal experience with it – this is quite an academic read， which I am not used to， and at times I found it really Really helpful info for an anxious soul like me！ Fascinating to learn of the science behind my own 'inner voice' and what I can do to stop the negative spiralling that seems to happen so often。 I have tried to use some of these techniques over the past week or so and surprised myself when they actually worked！ 4。5 stars from me， not because the content was lacking but just my own personal experience with it – this is quite an academic read， which I am not used to， and at times I found it really hard to concentrate。 Right when I was thinking 'I hope someone makes a dot point summary of this so I don't forget' I discovered the back section is a fantastic， categorised summary of practical tips for handling my own inner voice， being a support to the people around me coping with 'chatter' and how to adjust my lifestyle to prevent that negative-spiral taking over unnecessarily。 I am SO GRATEFUL for intelligent people like Dr Ethan Kross。 THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR WISDOMDisclaimer: I was able to read this book early as an advanced reading copy because I work in the publishing industry in Australia。 。。。more
Seth Turner
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Insightful。 Fascinating。 Well-rounded with thorough research and concise explanations。 Very approachable and accessible。 For anyone whose curious about the mind。
Cari
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A helpful， practical read for those of us who struggle with the voice in our head talking All。 The。 Time。 Kross， a professor at the University of Michigan， explains that all of us have a voice in our head， and that it evolved for a purpose， to help keep us safe。 It helps us solve problems and maintain a rich inner life--we just have to learn to keep it at bay。 I am wondering if some people perceive that voice differently， because my husband insists he does not have a voice talking to him all day A helpful， practical read for those of us who struggle with the voice in our head talking All。 The。 Time。 Kross， a professor at the University of Michigan， explains that all of us have a voice in our head， and that it evolved for a purpose， to help keep us safe。 It helps us solve problems and maintain a rich inner life--we just have to learn to keep it at bay。 I am wondering if some people perceive that voice differently， because my husband insists he does not have a voice talking to him all day。 Maybe he doesn't hear it as words， I don't know， but I have the inner monologue going constantly。 It helped to read about why this inner voice exists and how we can give it a purpose。 In my mindfulness practice， we talk a lot about leaning into a thought or leaning out of it， and this book gives us a lot of tools for fine-tuning the amount of distance you want from that mental talk。 You want to be close enough to engage with it if you need it， but far away enough to view it with controlled emotion。 Kross also talks about how to engage with others who are struggling with mental talk。 As he describes it， we need both the empathy and comfort of Kirk and the logical mindset of Spock when we are trying to help others。 I like that analogy and will be thinking about that as I work with both my own thoughts and those of others。 。。。more
Aaron Shulman
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